A few years ago while attending a Leadership course in San Diego I saw a presentation by
Gary King. It was incredible, not only did he talk from the heart, but what he said was profound in it's simplicity and as he
touched my soul he changed my life.
At that event he issued, and I accepted, a challenge ... that challenge was called the
"The 24 Hour Truth Challenge"
It was hard, especially as 24 hours turned into a week, then a month and now a couple of years. I have learnt a lot about myself during that time as I did find I told some little white lies, as I think we all do. More importantly however I suddenly realised how often I didn't "say" the truth for fear of hurting people, and I kept things to myself. I kept my 'mouth closed'. Think about that, it's pretty profound when you suddenly realise how much the breaks have been on in your life because you weren't expressing yourself completely.
I learnt there is no such thing as an
'inconsequential lie' and decided that starting with myself it must stop ... I had to learn to say what needed to be said, and I had to go back and say things to people that I should have been said earlier ... it's been a challenging but also an incredible and wonderful journey.
Maybe I'll talk more about that more some other day, but the Power of Truth was my introduction to Gary and I don't want to get distracted.
Anyway, I was at
Date With Destiny as a leader last month and got the opportunity to hear him speak again and there was absolutely no way I was going to miss that, as he has become a bit of a hero to me.
In that presentation he told us of an experiment he does... "He drops a piece of crumpled paper on the ground, stands back and waits for someone to pick it up."
Sadly no one does, ok maybe a few per hundred do but most people look, step over it and keep walking, thinking it's someone else's problem.
Now here is his suggestion ... It is, that you are either
Part of the Solution, or you are Part of the Problem, stepping over the rubbish is part of the problem.
I for example used to say to myself ... someone will pick it up ... it's someone's job, but Garry is right. By that simple justification I am actually making it ok to litter. I am not taking a stand and saying NO. I am not setting a high standard ... I am actually saying, although subconsciously and unintentionally, it's ok to drop rubbish, someone will pick it up.
I am not doing his point justice, but this is not just about a bit of trash, the same concept applies every time we choose not to engage whether it be to stop littering, violence, abuse etc ... we immediately go from potentially being part of the solution to
being part of the problem.
Anyway, in perfect Gary style he leaves us with another challenge, that is for the rest of the seminar to think about his words every-time we see some rubbish.
grrrrrrrr
Hours, have turned into days, which have now turned into weeks :-)
I used to walk Dylan (the dog) around the neighbourhood every morning and notice the birds in the trees and the sun rising, but as soon as I got back I also started to notice the trash along the road.
Not a lot, but enough to not be able to ignore it.
I'm embarrassed to say, I did try to. I didn't really want to be walking around picking up litter and Gary our neighbourhood has a school thrown in for good measure ... But I couldn't ignore it, as his words started to scream in my head
PART OF THE SOLUTION ... OR PART OF THE PROBLEM?
So I started to pick up the rubbish, not everything, but enough each day so I felt like I'd done my bit. The plastic bag I carry around for the doggy mess, has now become a garbage bag to.
Actually it's started to become quite satisfying. The streets look better as the litter is all gone, it's kind of like tending to your garden as progress is made little by little ... Actually it's strangely relaxing to look after something that goes beyond the bounds of ones own front gate.
So now I pass on Gary's challenge to you, are you going to be ....
Part of the Problem or Part of the Solution?
Good luck, have fun and of course let me know how you go below ... how about doing so even if just for a week.
I came accross the following statement on Deborah Day Poors website tonight
"Pleasers have good hearts.
They are willing to give much, and all they want in return is for everyone to be nice. However, their best attempts to please and create peace backfire. They end up leading chaotic, hectic, hellish lives."
It's hard to find a truer word said.
In fact, I was at a Tony Robbins event, "Date With Destiny (DWD)" on the Gold Coast last month, and this concept of being a "Pleaser" was central to many peoples problems. One guy had it so bad he affectionately became known as "Pussy Boy"
I certainly have spent much of my life as a "Pleaser", trying to keep everyone happy. The problem is although this is done with good intention, as your life gets bigger and more complex it becomes more and more difficult to keep anyone happy, and especially yourself.
Anyway, I have been very lucky, not only have I been able to attend events like DWD, but I also received one of my greatest learnings from the Fire Service. That is that safety is an inside out responsibility
me > my partner > the team > the public > the patient
And so through these experiences I have discovered that what applies in business, "that you can't be all things to all people", is equally true in life ... you must first be the best, and happiest version of 'you' that you can. From there you will be in the strongest position to serve and only then will life be full of passion.
Please don't get me wrong, I am not talking about being selfish or purely self serving, I am just talking about balance. Life is always more satisfying when you focus on what's outside of you, but you must also learn to look after yourself along the way. Learn to say no!
I've not read the following book, but I'd suggest it's a great concept and an important issue. I have never met Deborah, and don't get any remuneration for this suggestion so please take this suggestion as being heart felt and I trust you will enjoy.
Her book is called "Peace at Any Price: How to Overcome the Please Disease".
Let me know what you think by leaving a comment below ... If you're in a hurry maybe you could "retweet" me so people on twitter get this message too. Thank you.
A few years ago while attending a Leadership course in San Diego I saw a presentation by Gary King. It was incredible, not only did he talk from the heart, but what he said was profound in it's simplicity and as he touched my soul he changed my life.
At that event he issued, and I accepted, a challenge ... that challenge was called the "The 24 Hour Truth Challenge"
It was hard, especially as 24 hours turned into a week, then a month and now a couple of years. I have learnt a lot about myself during that time as I did find I told some little white lies, as I think we all do. More importantly however I suddenly realised how often I didn't "say" the truth for fear of hurting people, and I kept things to myself. I kept my 'mouth closed'. Think about that, it's pretty profound when you suddenly realise how much the breaks have been on in your life because you weren't expressing yourself completely.
I learnt there is no such thing as an 'inconsequential lie' and decided that starting with myself it must stop ... I had to learn to say what needed to be said, and I had to go back and say things to people that I should have been said earlier ... it's been a challenging but also an incredible and wonderful journey.
Maybe I'll talk more about that more some other day, but the Power of Truth was my introduction to Gary and I don't want to get distracted.
Anyway, I was at Date With Destiny as a leader last month and got the opportunity to hear him speak again and there was absolutely no way I was going to miss that, as he has become a bit of a hero to me.
In that presentation he told us of an experiment he does... "He drops a piece of crumpled paper on the ground, stands back and waits for someone to pick it up."
Sadly no one does, ok maybe a few per hundred do but most people look, step over it and keep walking, thinking it's someone else's problem.
Now here is his suggestion ... It is, that you are either Part of the Solution, or you are Part of the Problem, stepping over the rubbish is part of the problem.
I for example used to say to myself ... someone will pick it up ... it's someone's job, but Garry is right. By that simple justification I am actually making it ok to litter. I am not taking a stand and saying NO. I am not setting a high standard ... I am actually saying, although subconsciously and unintentionally, it's ok to drop rubbish, someone will pick it up.
I am not doing his point justice, but this is not just about a bit of trash, the same concept applies every time we choose not to engage whether it be to stop littering, violence, abuse etc ... we immediately go from potentially being part of the solution to being part of the problem.
Anyway, in perfect Gary style he leaves us with another challenge, that is for the rest of the seminar to think about his words every-time we see some rubbish.
grrrrrrrr
Hours, have turned into days, which have now turned into weeks :-)
I used to walk Dylan (the dog) around the neighbourhood every morning and notice the birds in the trees and the sun rising, but as soon as I got back I also started to notice the trash along the road.
Not a lot, but enough to not be able to ignore it.
I'm embarrassed to say, I did try to. I didn't really want to be walking around picking up litter and Gary our neighbourhood has a school thrown in for good measure ... But I couldn't ignore it, as his words started to scream in my head
PART OF THE SOLUTION ... OR PART OF THE PROBLEM?
So I started to pick up the rubbish, not everything, but enough each day so I felt like I'd done my bit. The plastic bag I carry around for the doggy mess, has now become a garbage bag to.
Actually it's started to become quite satisfying. The streets look better as the litter is all gone, it's kind of like tending to your garden as progress is made little by little ... Actually it's strangely relaxing to look after something that goes beyond the bounds of ones own front gate.
So now I pass on Gary's challenge to you, are you going to be ....
Part of the Problem or Part of the Solution?
Good luck, have fun and of course let me know how you go below ... how about doing so even if just for a week.
As I watched an introductory video for the WolframAlpha launch, my memory raced back to when I first saw the internet in the early 90's and told my wife how it was going to "change the world".
WolframAlpha isn't a search engine like Google, it's something completely different. In my opinion there is a place for both as they do things differently ... but if this gets hold this will change the world. It's offers a completely revolutionary way of looking at data and for the average person to explore relationships.
As Danny and I discussed today, we can in our heads imagine how the search works at Google, but we have no idea how this works ... but it is DAMN AMAZING.
Almost immediately I was Skyping, and twittering my friends telling them to watch the introduction movie.
http://www.wolframalpha.com/screencast/introducingwolframalpha.html
Go see it now ... I think we might just be seeing another billion dollar company in the making... In fact Danny and my prediction is it will take only a couple of years.
Once you've done that, go over to Tinker and join the discussion I just started
UPDATE: Oh sorry, I meant to say. Popular rumour is it will launch tomorrow.