How to avoid regret: 3 simple steps

As a Fire Fighter, I get to spend some time with people at the end of their lives, and it gives you a moment to reflect on your own. Does this person die with regrets? Will I or the people I love do the same?

It therefore seems a great irony that, at the closing moment in someone else’s life, your own involvement makes you feel so alive. As you work on a person with CPR your adrenaline rushes, you’re instantly present and if you did have any worry it vanishes. It’s not fun, but it is a very powerful moment where you focus on what is important.

I read a wonderful book a few years ago called “The Tibetan Book Of Living and Dieing”, and so it was a great honour this week to hear Tenzin Kacho, a Buddhist Nun, speak. (She was formerly Emi Kiyosaki, sister of Robert Kiyosaki, with whom she’s written this book.) In her presentation she spoke of her work at an LA Hospice and about the 3 most common regrets people have at the end of their lives and I have listed them below. These regrets tend to be the same, rich or poor, and irrespective of race.

I don’t really have regrets, but I did last year write of a few of my own. LOL many people don’t have any “million dollar ideas” and I have had and ignored more than I can count. If there is anything I have learnt over the years, to be a successful entrepreneur and happy human being you must do your best to avoid these regrets, and most importantly learn to take …

#1 – Take a leap of faith

I am sure this one affects us all, but must be the one that holds the key to the most excitement and passion in our lives. To unlocks life’s riches we must simply take a leap of faith. All the regrets I spoke about in my post occurred because I didn’t take that leap. If you want love, you must eventually take that leap, and if you want to be successful in business you must continually take those leaps of faith … “Have Courage or Die”

#2 – Say what needs to be said

The second regret is people focus on all the things they should have said but didn’t, often having left things until it was to late. Maybe not telling someone they loved them, or a child they were proud of them, or not having stood up for themselves and expected more from others. Sonya and my relationship is a testament to the fact that most of the deep issues did not occur from what “was said”, but “what wasn’t”.

#3 – Forgive

Anger, resentment, and hurt are a dark cloud that travels with us through our lives if we do not learn to forgive. This darkness and the associated stories have a way of stacking emotionally over time if we do not learn and choose to forgive. It is interesting therefore that, one of the most common regrets is to have ‘not forgiven’. Is it possible that, given the perspective of our ‘whole life’, issues that once seemed so huge become irrelevant.

I find myself wondering: How would someone’s life change if they forgave when it mattered, rather than when it was too late?

Let’s commit …

We have one go at this, so let’s live a little dangerously. Let’s tell people what we want and need, let’s tell people what they need to hear, even if it’s as simple as “I love you”, or “I’m proud of you”. Let’s let go of any hurt and decide to forgive – because as soon as we do, a burden will be lifted. And in everything we do … let’s take a leap of faith.

 

This post was my homework for day two “31 days to build a better blog”

Tagged as: buddhist, dead, dying, faith, forgiveness, Love, Regrets