I came accross the following statement on Deborah Day Poors website tonight
“Pleasers have good hearts.
They are willing to give much, and all they want in return is for everyone to be nice. However, their best attempts to please and create peace backfire. They end up leading chaotic, hectic, hellish lives.”
It’s hard to find a truer word said.
In fact, I was at a Tony Robbins event, “Date With Destiny (DWD)” on the Gold Coast last month, and this concept of being a “Pleaser” was central to many peoples problems. One guy had it so bad he affectionately became known as “Pussy Boy”
I certainly have spent much of my life as a “Pleaser”, trying to keep everyone happy. The problem is although this is done with good intention, as your life gets bigger and more complex it becomes more and more difficult to keep anyone happy, and especially yourself.
Anyway, I have been very lucky, not only have I been able to attend events like DWD, but I also received one of my greatest learnings from the Fire Service. That is that safety is an inside out responsibility
me > my partner > the team > the public > the patient
And so through these experiences I have discovered that what applies in business, “that you can’t be all things to all people”, is equally true in life … you must first be the best, and happiest version of ‘you’ that you can. From there you will be in the strongest position to serve and only then will life be full of passion.
Please don’t get me wrong, I am not talking about being selfish or purely self serving, I am just talking about balance. Life is always more satisfying when you focus on what’s outside of you, but you must also learn to look after yourself along the way. Learn to say no!
I’ve not read the following book, but I’d suggest it’s a great concept and an important issue. I have never met Deborah, and don’t get any remuneration for this suggestion so please take this suggestion as being heart felt and I trust you will enjoy.
Her book is called “Peace at Any Price: How to Overcome the Please Disease”.
Let me know what you think by leaving a comment below … If you’re in a hurry maybe you could “retweet” me so people on twitter get this message too. Thank you.